Addicted

the light that shone when your eyes were locked into mine became an addiction.
my addiction.
i tried to pull away, but soon after,
i realized there could never be a light like yours.

i have been very happy lately.
but its wearing off.
i have everything i need right now.
i do.
but i feel somewhat empty?
even though im filled to my capacity.
but i will forget,
and i will try to enjoy whats left,
because enough people love me,
and ive gotta say,
i love them back too<3 [=

now ever since then,
they have all been wondering ...
asking questions?
should i answer truthfully?
no.
wait why?
i cant understand what keeps me from answering.
maybe im scared.
i think so.
so why do i care again?
i dont know.
so many things i cannot answer.
but they can find out on their own.
yea, they can.
id rather bathe in the light of my confusion,
and sort it out all on my own.
i love them all, but not enough to explain.

see? i think hes funny.
because hes lying.
because i know it.
and he knows i do.
so why doesnt he stop?
i think he believes it makes me happy.
because i smile.
but i only smile because
im glad im not that stupid.
yea, i think hes prettyfuckinghilarious.

i swear the pain in your eyes
speaks to me
it tells me everything
that you are just like me.

its okay,
i feel it too.
i swear we all do.

its the pain in your eyes,
that slaps me in the face,
whispering to me,
reminding me of my mistakes.

but its ok,
i swear its true,
because the pain in your eyes
that makes up you

hold your breath
dive into the water
surrender
sink
fall
open your mouth
let the water seep into your veins
let the sea rule you
let it creep into your depths and retreive your soul
stop fighting back
give up
and drown.

ask me questions i cannot answer.
give me tasks i cant complete.
show me things i cannot see.
make me inhale when i cannot breathe.

try and make me into what you want to see me be,
something i cannot do, because i can only be me

I'm just , im just ,
fading fading,
baby its not too far from me,
dissapearing dissapearing,
into something they call nothing.

because im blending, blending,
right into my surroundings,
being hidden by all thats around me,
hidden hidden,
till you see nothing.

Im just gone, Im just gone,
i am nothing nothing,
i have gone i have gone,
to become nothing, to become nothing.

Crying Inside.
Is this what it feels like when your dying inside?
Tears bleeding stains into my soul,
the fire of the sadness burning the last flames of the cold.

Day in and day out,
is this what happens when your heart gives out?
Beats fading into a meer nothing,
struggling to breathe, to hold onto something.

I cannot love anymore,
is this how it feels to not live up anymore?
Because I am giving, giving up
losing hope, this is enough.

Burning like fire within yourself,
Is this how it feels to be saving yourself?
because I am straining straining,
to be living living,
to be breathing breathing,
to be loving,
to be loving,
to be loving you.

poetry with edwin

I want to spend eternity locked into your gaze,
Spend forever with my heart ablaze,
burning the words I Love You into my skin,
these words never fading, never once giving in,
but repeating themselves over and over again

Poetry with edwin

If only you could see,
How much you mean to me,
Because being with you,
Is like falling into the greatest dream.

Over You

So I was sitting,
And thinking,
and I was like,
Shit, I thought I was over you,
&& Shit I was right.

Fornever

NEVER is the most painful word,
but,
FOREVER is the most painful lie.

Uncontainable

I cant control myself,
You make my heart melt,
You see into my mind,
and rob my mental health.
Its as if your eyes are burning,burning,
holes into my soul,
Its as if your lips are yearning, yearning,
to press against mine once more.
I can't contain the erruption,
of love deep within me,
I can't stop my heart from running to you,
because it is yours to keep.

Hold On To My Life

I can't live without you.
It's impossible for me to breathe.
You are my wings, with you I can fly.
So hold me tight, and dont let go,
because if you do,
my heart might stop beating,
my eyes might stop seeing,
I might just stop living.

Loving You

I will love till the last dawn in the mother earth,
Till the last glimpse of fire in the sun burns out,
Till my heart can beat no longer, so it must rest.
And it is you I will be loving(=

i will not cry

I will not cry , because you hurt me.
I will not cry , because you made me sad.
I will not cry , because you angered me.
I will cry , because I let you do this to me.
Because my heart,
was so naiive,
it let you through the door,
before asking who was there.

Immense

My love for you is immense,
as are my dreams for you,
as are my thoughts for you,
as is the wish I have that you will love me back,
Immensly.

Never A Day

There may never be a day when I will not think,
what could have been,
should have been,
or what was.
But there is not day,
where I dont think of what I have,
and how greatful I am to have it.<3

Denia;

I will forever try to avoid you.
I will forever try to forget you.
I will forever try to deny loving you.
But does that mean i can?
The fact that i love you sits in front of my eyes,
so how long can i keep them shut?

Um, yea, you tell me what your gonna do,
i wanna see you swallow your pride and tell the truth,
your nothing but a low class fool,
cant even back up what you say you will do.
Like okay you wanna start something,
Say some shit you cant even prove,
but when I actually follow through,
you wont be even able to move.
Shit man, you get me so worked up,
why you gotta get in my way?
truly i dont even give a f***,
didnt ur ma ever teach you to shut that trap up?.
I will not step over you,
you will not be ignored,
get in my way,
ill smite you to the floor.
Dont play games with me,
because I can play better,
Dont fool with me,
because the best just got better.
I can do things you may never even seen,
I can put a foot up your ass in ways you aint ever dreamed.
Don't mess,
I'll have you on your deathbed,
wishing it was all in your head,
guess what man,
you said what you said.
You started the fight,
even though you knew you couldnt follow,
my words were so harsh,
they cut on you like a brokenn bottle.
im not so shy,
that i wont use my strength,
ill get you so scared,
youll plan your funeral way before your dead.
Come closer let me whisper some last words,
a little warning to carry out,
dont mess with ma herd;
Make your last wishes,
because when you decided to pick a fight,
you signed yourself up to die.
hoe.

hater. -_-

Yea, so I have a new hater,
he/she/it?
Won't tell me who they is,
Wont say nothing but shit.
Yea okay they think theyre cool,
but cool people dont stalk others,
nonetheless have nothing better to do than curse out their leader,
they can go screw their mothers.
I will fite em,
and i will win,
i wonder what messed with their heads,
because pissin me off is a sin,
theyll wake up in a hospital bed.
they should think a bit,
i have too many friends,
that might just put up a fit,
and bring their boring old life to a very delightful end.
Make your last wishes,
because when you decided to pick a fight,
you signed yourself up to die.

I Lost A Friend

How could I lose,
such a friend?
It broke my heart.
Losing a friend.
I sat there,
for days,
because I had lost that friend.
And people dared to wonder,
but cant they understand?
My friend,
I lost,
It broke my heart.

The Dream

In real life he had left me,
but in my dream,
he begged to see me,
and my mom, she right up and told me,
but it got me so confused.
Where had he been for about 8 years?
So , I decided to forget,
and invited her over.
I cried and I told her,
she sed it was okay,
she took my hand and held it tight,
and shared all my pain,

Youre not who i remember

Sometimes we yearn to travel into the past,
to feel the good we once remembered,
but im sure if we really went back far,
you're conquests are sure to surrender.

What we remember,
it isnt all true,
and I'm sure,
because sometimes I'll remember little things about you.

But when I travel back to you,
to talk to share to see,
you're not the person I remembered,
& I guess my memories played a game on me.

By My Side

Cant get you off my mind,
No matter how much I try,
And I'm tired of pretending everything is fine.

I think about you,
reminiscing night & day,
but I guess you'll never hear it,
because this I'll never say.

When your name is tattooed across the back of my heart,
but I can I act like I've never loved you,
you can call me an actor, a game of pretend,
because the mask I put on isnt true.

I wont show that I love you,
that your always on my mind,
that maybe just maybe,
I really need you by my side.

In Love

I take your hand,

and I lead, you follow.

You are amazed at what you see.

Amazed at the beauty before your eyes.

If only you'd remember,

you've been here before.

It just looks so beautiful,

Because this time you're,

In Love.

Becoming Public

When you walk out on the streets,
your life becomes public.
Suddenly so many flickering eyes are on you.
Some daring to look for so long,
as if reading your thoughts.
Others glance wuickly,
wondering about your story,
your reason for stepping outside.
You return looks, glares, and stares
Because one you walk outside,
you put yourself out there,
Where anyone can read you,
And make a judgement.

I Want To

I want to sing,
to dance,
to scream,
at last to be; where I want to be.

To let go of my worries,
to rip everything into shreds,
to jump from the sky,
without any frets.

To hop on the world,
to let it spin me around,
to get lost in the happiness,
and never be found.

Sing With Me

Sing, sing, sing with me.
let our voices rise,
let them drop,
forming words, melodies, notes, and theories,
don't ever stop.

Sing, sing, sing with me,
and take my hand,
feel the vibration of our music,
shooting like stars in the sky,
hold on to the beat and never lose it,
because ours is one of a kind.

Beneath the Surface.

Her mouth twitched into an empty smile,
as she tried to evolve into something she wasn't.
Her eyes faded into an exotic type of pain,
as what she had tried to pull of faded away.
Her head rolled back as tears skipped down her cheeks,
forming puddles on her neck.
Her voice grumbled into an explicit scream,
as we watched her reveal all that she had been hiding.
Her eyes once again opened,
and her life projected before us.
She was one of us.
Trying to hide the pain so much.
That it exploded from Beneath the Surface.

tell me im in love. (:

Spin me like a record,
Sing me like a song,
Hold me in your arms,
and protect me from the cold.

Sway me like a daisy,
Enlighten me like the sun,
Trap me in your gaze,
And tell me I'm in Love. (:

Ugh.

I asked her.
not to touch my poetry.
she picked it up.
and read it anyway.
doesnt matter that she read it.
but i wasnt ready.
and now.
im just a bit angry.
because she got the easy pass.
to read my mind.
dont touch my poetry.
ugh.

On The Floor.

My mind becomes much clearly
obligated so I nearly
Hit the Ground.

A Sharp Sound.

My Body On The Floor.

A splash of white,
A light so bright,
A whole 'nother world.

You wonder?

And you say you wonder,
you just wonder,
what the hell my poems are about.
Look around you.
It's easy to understand.
I write what I feel,
I write what I see others feel.
I write like I'm in a friends shoes.
I write like I'm in my own.
I slip out of my own skin,
to become what you are thinking,
and to put it down on paper.
And you say you wonder.
But if you look closely,
one of these poems,
is probably,
about,

you.

Goodbye...

I never thought that when he said goodbye,
He meant goodbye forever.
But I knew it was true when his eyes silently closed,
his body giving a quick shiver,
and letting out a final breath,
creating a thin fog on my watch.
His skin turned pale.
Looking so untouched and beautiful,
The moon gently shone across his face,
As I watched him slip into heaven.

The Slave

The aching back,
The sad soul,
suffering,
working,
with no rest,
no food,
and no happiness.
serving others,
but leaving himself,
unattended to,
being alone,
being astray,
being a Slave.

Silent Voice.

Speaks for itself,
Is louder than words,
Loving or upsetting,
Especially peaceful,
Never disturbed.
Calming, relaxing, nothing to repeat,
Everlasting silence, oh so sweet.

Day Haiku

Inhale, Exhale, Sweet.

Flower's scent drifts me to sleep.

Sunshine in the sky.

The Cinquain Of Sun

Sun

Beautiful, Sensational.

Flying, Glowing, Rising.

Happy, Hot, Dreamy, Protected.

Light.

State Of Mind

A messy place,
filled with valuable things,
A dangerous place,
filled with pain and stings.

A sad place,
A home of the insane,
A crazy place,
A place thats untamed.

A place with feelings,
Both bad and kind,
A place of my own,
A place called My Mind.

My Choice

I make my own mistakes,
I lead my own life,
I choose my own path,
But I pay my own price.

I'm unguided, untamed,
Wild and Free,
Running but falling,
My faults tripping me.

I stand strong,
But I can slip,
I walk confident,
But sometimes I limp.

I get up when I fall,
I strive to stand,
I learn from my troubles,
Without a helping hand.

I have a fire deep within,
burning and swaying,
In the Life that I Live.

(Painting Poem) , Snowstorm: Hannibal and His Army Crossing The Alps.

Painting By : J.W. Turner

A dark shadow,

And a place filled with fear,

No escaping, No hiding,

A painting that's so clear.

Trapped under a huge place,

Screaming and trying to get away,

Under it's powerful ways,

Rolls the dark, huge wave.

Make Me Smile

So many things that make me smile,
So many things that are worth the while.

The sunshine,
The birds,
The air,
and you,
Together you make my smile so true.

A smile's so special.
A personal hello,
A smile's so special,
So priceless to show.

So many things that make up my smile,
So many things that are worth the while.

Flower Diamante

Flowers.

Silky, gorgeous.

Swaying, dreaming, sunbathing.

Stems, Petals, Growing, Opening.

Stretching, swinging, dangling.

Pretty, sweet-smelling.

Blossoms.

The Beach

Relaxation,
Joyful Sensation,
The Sun Smiling down at me,
My heart is lifting,
The sand is shifting,
I inhale the breath of the Sea.

My toes slowly sink,
Into the sandy shore,
The Pink, and The Blue,
Colors Galore.

A feeling so sweet,
Easy to Reach,
A place so Free,
A place called The Beach.

Gone.

She sheds tears,
like shes trying to put out a fire,
She looks down,
as if she hangs from a wire.
She looks up as if theres no hope from above,
and dives out of this world, life, and love.

Why did you say it?

He was your everything?
love?
soul?
other half?
entire life?
so now that he left,
did he take you with him?
Or were you just,
too young,
too naiive,
when you said this?
Because after he left,
I think you became,
A better person.
No matter what you say.

Music

I slip my headphones into my ears,
turn the volume up,
let the beat rise into my system,
and I dont let it stop.
With music it's easy,
to get where you wanna be,
just tune out everything,
and dream like your asleep.

<3

Hate/Love

I hate you,
you anger me.
You're annoying,
you never stop bothering me.
You don't know you hurt me,
but you do.
I hate you,
I dislike you so much.
But I can't say this to your face,
because I love you too much
for you to hear this,
and walk away from me,
because even though this,
all this crap you give me,
I can't live without you.

Plastic.

Sheilded by plastic,

but hollow inside,

nothing more than a "barbie",

no coverups, no lies.

You only fend for yourself,

much less even notice others,

you could simply care less,

unless you're the one being bothered.

You're words mean nothing,

just phrases without feelings,

you can't comprehend anything,

your a soul without meaning.

Your smiles aren't glowing,

Your heart is only air,

and the happiness your showing,

Isn't even really there.

Not trustworthy, and unable to confide,

is the plastic "barbie",

hollow inside.

FLY

It's wings spread out above me,
as I looked up at it,
wishing I could fly,
wishing the air could carry me,
to show me,
to take me with the wind,
to revive my soul with the thrill of flight,
but as I thought,
I realized I already had wings to fly with,
The wings of my imagination.

Red Apple.

It sleeps so carelessly on the tree,
Not yet ripe,
but beautiful,
it sits in front of me.
Tempted to bite into it,
It's juicy taste,
The glistening red,
As the apple dissapears,
Without a trace.

It's Not Yours

Don't think your lucky,
just because you are in the possesion of something.
Don't think that,
it is your forever.
Because you are not strong enough to hold on to it,
when God decides to pull it away.

She Locked Me In A Box

She locked me in a box,
along with my ideas and my thoughts,
she locked me in a box,
but that didn't mean anything.

She locked me in a box,
and made me sit there,
made me tire,
she locked me in a box,
but I could care less.

She locked me in a box,
but she gave me the key.
She locked me in a box,
but unlocking it was up to me.

Tear

A reflection,
A glass-like surface,
A story of sadness,
A restoration of purpose.
A coldness like metal,
but a warmth of fire,
a telling of love,
of decietment and desire.
A crystalized shine,
A wet dreary fear,
filled with history and passion,
a single tear.

I Learned

Someone told me,
to live everyday like it's my last,
every tear like it's a laugh,
every maze like it's my map.
From somewhere I learned,
to live into my future, but remember my past,
to treasure my moments, to make them last,
to show my love, and recieve love back.

Hard to Love

Why is it so hard,
to be with the ones we love?
Every time we seem to get closer,
Something must pull as apart.
Everytime something goes right,
To you it looks wrong.
And maybe you can't understand,
when I say I Love You.
Maybe you just don't hear it.
Because everytime I try to say it,
I slip under the sea.

Confusion

Sometimes,
I am so confused.
I just don't know how I feel.
How I feel about you,
How I feel about them,
How I feel about myself.
Sometimes I feel so much at the same time,
But you just can't see.
If only you could help me,
understand where I am.
Sometimes I'm just so confused,
About how I feel.

Twisted

Can you,
take your head and twist it completly around?
No.
Can you,
take your foot and twist it completely around?
Not really.
Can you,
take your organs and twist them so they show outside your body?
Don't think so.
Can you,
twist the words that hang from my lips?
Yes.
But, are you sure you want to?

Deal

dont like what i do?
deal with it.
dont like how i think?
deal with it.
dont like what i say?
deal with it.
but, if you can deal with it,
then some part of you,
must like it.
right?

Know Love

His breath smelled like love,
His eyes; glazed with love,
His heart torn with love.
But how shall she ever know,
if this thing called Love,
is invisible?

Don't Judge My Thoughts

You will read these little friends of mine,
these deep thoughts that lurk through my mind.
You will wonder what they mean,
who they are about,
and what led me to feel this way.
But those who read,
cannot judge,
because I'm sure you have all
wondered,
felt,
and discovered something
you chose to share.

Time

Time;

Moves so slowly,

when you need it to run.

But speeds right past you,

when you need to slow down.

Time is given to you,

when there is no need.

But its stolen away when you are left with little,

and never released.

Time goes against our wills,

stopping at the worst moments,

running away at the best ones,

and laughing at our confusion,

when we cant escape,

Time.

The Ocean

Clouds mourn over the ocean,
like someone just died.
Rain pours over the ocean,
like Jesus just cried.
Thunder rolls above the ocean,
like drums in the sky.
But I swim through the ocean,
like everything is fine.

What I Need

I don't need someone whose hand fits into mine,
or whose heart beats at my every command.
I don't need someone with charming words,
or whose face speaks the language of beauty.
I need someone,
who will hold on.
and never let go.
no matter.
what.
tries.
to pull; us
A P A R T .

Belief

They would turn around and tell me,
That I am,
Beautiful,
Smart,
Kind,
a One-Of-A-Kind Girl.
Then I would grow older.
They would turn around and tell me,
the same exact thing.
But this time,
I wouldn't believe it.

They Think I Did It

I guess its like,
They are all holding hands in a circle,
Their eyes closed and their lips in relaxed smiles.
They begin to sing.
I am in the middle,
sitting cross-leggedly on the ground.
They happily dance around me,
But Suddenly, The sky rips in half,
Their smiles fade,
and their eyes open in a wild start.
They turn around and look at me,
Like It Was All My Fault.

She Was My Friend

Oh Yes,
She Was My Friend.
We Told Secrets.
We Whispered,
We Laughed,
We Loved.

Oh Yes,
She Was My Friend.
We Talked,
We Danced,
We Shared,
Together.

Oh Yes,
She Was My Friend.
But I Showed Her Too Much.
I Opened My Home,
My Heart,
My Life To Her.
And She Took Advantage Of it.

Guess What?
She's Not My Friend Anymore.

The Game of Pretend

Why do we pretend,
to be happy when we're not?
to be secure when we're distraught?

Why do we pretend,
that we don't care that we lost,
no matter how much we faught?

Why do we pretend,
to be something other than ourselves?
when no one really cares who we are,
as long as they are perfect themselves?

Why do we pretend,
that the world is oh so wonderful,
and it's precious at the heart?

Because it's not.

Something Far More Worse Than

There's something far more worse than,
commiting a crime,
pulling out a lie,
admitting to cry.

Something far more worse then,
wanting to die,
not being able to fly,
not seeing the sky.

Something far more worse than,
picking a fight,
not sleeping all night,
delirious with fright.

Its not having the chance to say GoodBye.

Then & Now

Then I would look at a candle,
and wonder what was fire,
Now I see it also burns within me,
when I try to reach for something I desire.

Then I would look at a smile,
And admire it's shine of teeth,
But now when I look at a smile,
I dig for whats underneath.

Then I'd want to be older,
so I could have freedom and more abilities,
But now sometimes I want to go back,
because it came packaged with responsibilities.

Then I'd look up at the sky,
and wonder what gave the world it's magic,
Now the blind fold has been torn from my eyes,
And I see that it is mostly tragic.

Then I'd trust everyone,
share my thoughts, my views,and life,
But now when you share with the wrong people,
You get stabbed from behind with a knife.

Then I'd never think of wrongdoings,
of the hurt or the evil around us,
But once I started to get older,
I realized not everyone is to trust.

Then I'd sit at night and make wishes,
hoping they'd come true,
But now sometimes I quit,
Because the important ones rarely do.

That Was THen & This Is Now

Then it was simple,
nothing but childhood fears,
looking under the bed for monsters,
and things that could have never been real.

Now it gets a bit harder,
worries at home and at school,
fearing consequences and dangers,
that go along with breaking the rules.

Then it was so easy,
thinking everyone was so nice,
and skipping down the block,
with nothing more than delight.

Now it's pretty difficult,
knowing the world's not so clean,
having to watch around you,
and witness so much danger that is seen.

Then it was like a dream,
automatic friends,
fights over bits of candy,
thinking friendships could never end.

But now I see it clearer,
you make friends for yourself,
and many of them turn out to be people,
you wish you'd never met.

Then it was easy, but we were weak,
But we've gotten stronger over time somehow,
but then again I notice,
That Was Then & This Is Now.

Day Dreamers.

Some people tend to,
drift off,
into another world,
dreaming,
dreaming,
drifting,
drifting,
staring,
staring.
Those people look,
like they,
are lost,
but they are not,
Those people are extra crazy,
creating dreams,
in the daytime,
and going off subject,
to wander through the galaxy,
looking for their shooting stars.
And I am proud to admit,
that those people,
are me.

Life.

Life is a troublemaker,
A stranger at the start,
Life is an event maker,
but kind at heart.
Life is a big question,
waiting to be solved,
sitting there,
while we take control of it,
and those who don’t,
lose it,
forever.

Author’s Secret

Some people would ask,
how I write my poems,
and I would,
open my mouth,
and say,
the moment,
that pen,
hits that paper,
every thing,
that is stored up in my head,
spills,
out,
into,
one,
big,
poem.

Spoiled!

She screams,
She yells,
She puts up a fit
She even stomps,
and kicks a bit.
She cries,
She hits,
She bangs the wall,
Just because,
She Can’t Have It All.

Description of a True Friend

Understanding,
Sweet and Nice,
Always sharing,
Perfect,
Precise.
Lovely,
Gorgeous,
Beautiful too,
There are not enough good words in the world to
describe
you.

The Warrior

The warrior jumps with her spear,
To defeat the cheetah,
Her body in the air,
gracefully,
Showing determination,
hunger,
elegance,
and power,
Her voice rising,
in a joyous tone,
where the cheetah’s lifeless body,
lay in the grass,
disintegrating into
a defeated mount of
NOTHING

The Truth

Knowing I am unable to move in your presence,
I stutter,
Afraid to Speak the truth,
Afraid of the consequences,
But secretly thinking of the good.
Staring into your blank eyes,
A shiver crawls up my spine,
As I am,
Waiting,
Deciding,
Confused but Yet Knowing,
My lips begin to move.
I choose to speak.
I have known loneliness.
But I know it no more.

Welcome!

Um this good shxt is C O P Y R I G H T E D. If u jockk itt ILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU. Kthanks.